Nicklas Bendtner has told the Danish press that he may look for a move away from the Emirates in January – with his comical ambition being to play for either Barcelona or Real Madrid. The 25-year-old striker has submerged into almost complete obscurity over the past few years, making small cameo appearances here and there without ever setting the place alight.
Now we here at Talking Baws understand that this is hugely devastating news for the Arsenal faithful, as without their resident Great Pretender, who will chase, fight and score all the goals for the Gunners?
Well we imagine that heavy burden will fall at the far more reliable and trusty feet of Theo Walcott, Mesut Ozil and Olivier Giroud…if just to name a few.
So, here’s our run down of TEN things more useful to Arsenal than Nicklas Bendtner…is he truly one of the worst players to wear the shirt?
1. Wilshere and this tree:
21-year-old lion heart, Jack Wilshere has already scored one of the early contenders for goal of the season. And even more surprisingly, Jack came from the same youth set up as Nicklas Bendtner.
The two were expected to be the start of something beautiful at Arsenal, but to be brutally honest this tree has given Wilshere more support than Bendtner ever has.
2. David Beckham training with the club:
3. The passion of the Arsenal support
4. Arsenal’s Groundsman
Arsenal are always commended for playing silky, two touch football. Yet, while the first-team receive all the plaudits for the work they do in the pitch, it is the Emirates groundstaff who are the real unsung hero’s. They work remarkably hard to supply a consistently lush surface for Wenger’s side play on – so hard in fact that the groundstaff team have won a whole host of honours over the years. Ex-groundsman, Paul Burgess was so highly respected for the maintenance of the Emirates pitch that he moved to Real Madrid to become head groundsman at the Bernabeu. We don’t expect Nicklas to follow suit.
5. The Gunnersaurus:
We’ve seen our fair share of mascots here at Talking Baws, but we are relatively sure there is nothing as bad-ass as a dinosaur. Oh, and did we mention Gunnersaurus famously snubbed Chelsea captain John Terry during Handshake-gate?! If Bendtner ever manages to replicate something so symbolic during his career we will personally hand him the Balon d’Or…
6. Thierry Henry Statue:
Before the Arsenal fans amongst you wince at the prospect of comparing Bendtner to one of the greatest footballers to ever play for the Gunners – Thierry Henry – we are comparing the Dane to the statue of the Frenchman which kneels proudly outside the Emirates. As you can tell from the image the statue has more of a presence and already moves faster than the 26-year-old forward ever has in his Gunners career.
7. Mesut Ozil’s Chewing Gum
When Arsenal fans look back on the beginning to the 13/14 season there are a few images which will forever be ingrained in their mind’s. There was Jack Wilshere’s wonder-goal, Aaron Ramsey’s last-gasp header vs. Dortmund, and Mesut Ozil’s chewing gum before Arsenal’s match with Swansea City. The silky German’s trick was the signal that a different class of footballer had arrived. And that piece of Wrigleys, Extra, Huba-Buba, or whatever it was, has already been more instrumental this season than Bendtner’s eight years at the club.
8. Arsenal’s Pie Menu
Arsenal’s pies are tremendous. And we are talking from our own personal experience of The “Dennis Bergkamp”; a chicken, ham n’ leek beauty which would send many a football fans taste bites into a euphoric state. Much better value for money than watching Nicklas Bendtner!
9. Arsenal Girls
We here at Talking Baws are slighly forward in our adoration of the beautiful women who value the beautiful game. But when you see gorgeous women like these in your teams colours you forget how to use a search-bar never mind who Nicklas Bendtner is!
10. Arsenal’s Training Cones
Look at Carl Jenkinson go! The 21-year-old right back hasn’t had the best of luck so far this season when deputising for natural first choice Bacary Sagna, but these stratigically placed training devices will surely have young Jenks back on track in no time. One things for sure, the cones above are already in better positions than poor Nicklas has been able to find in Arsenal’s front-line!