Over the years goal celebrations have evolved to become more extravagant. Gone are the days when you’d simply jump on the spot with your arms raised in the air and walk back to the halfway line while receiving a pat on the backside. We’ve bore witness to prearranged t-shirts, players pulling masks, carrots and all manner of paraphernalia out of their shorts and socks, not to mention the need to over indulge in ludicrous feats of gymnastics. Julius Aghahowa, Obafemi Martins and Robbie Keane, to name but a few, are doing so, in my opinion, to make up for a distinct lack of talent.
Roger Milla aside, I can’t stand these little dance routines that have crept in, in the last decade or so. I’d go as far as to say I found Daniel Sturridge’s celebration of his debut goal at Mansfield for Liverpool so nauseating, for me, it ranks up there with my low lights of the season so far. We will tolerate none of that tedious nonsense here. So let’s get cracking.
By James Ellis
10. Graeme Souness
Whether or not you liked Souness as a player, manager or a pundit there is no denying the man has a colossal pair. We all know how volatile Turkish football fans can get. Upon managing Galatasary to victory in the Turkish Cup final over bitter rivals Fenerbahce, he proceeds to plant a Galatasary flag in the middle of their pitch in front of a packed stadium. It is one of, if not the most, provocative action ever to take place in the sport’s history. Wars have been started over less!
9. Diego Maradona
If you’re going to get yourself thrown out of the World Cup finals after two games for testing positive for banned substances you’d better leave your footballing mark too. Here Diego Maradona scores an absolutely unbelievable goal against Greece, (I’ll be honest, I had forgotten just how good this goal actually was!), and follows it up with the now legendary scream down the camera lens.
8. Eric Cantona
Before I start let me just say, I hate Manchester United and I never liked Eric Cantona. With that off my chest I’m not above admitting I think this is, head and shoulders, both the best goal ever scored and the best goal celebration in Premier League history. To score a goal of such breathtaking quality and simply turn on the spot with your arms outstretched demonstrating that amount of arrogance and restraint is just brilliant. Theirry Henry, eat your heart out.
7. Chelsea fan
You’ve just watched your team win the European Cup for the first time in your club’s history. You’re in your living room. You’re going mental. Why not let your dog shag your leg! Why not let your kid hump the dog! Basically, it’s your textbook response.
6. Johann Laxda
We’ve all seen this before but there is no harm in watching it again. These guys from Iceland have a whole array of absurd goal celebration. This is by far my favourite though. I love the way the “fish” comes into shot. I wonder if he practiced that or if he’s just a natural.
5. Emamanuel Adebayor
A lot has been made of this recent growing habit of players not celebrating goals against their former clubs. Daniel Sturridge for example has so much respect for the Manchester City fans that he can’t possibly raise even the smallest of smiles. However, he has no qualms about diving 20 or so minutes later. I can’t stand it! If my team is paying you £60k a week I couldn’t care less how you feel about your former club. Unless your name is Dennis Law, I’m not interested in your sickening display of “morals”. We are all very aware of the morality of you average Premier League player. With that said I find it refreshing to see Emmanuel Adebayor dishing out a tiny percentage of the abuse he’d suffered from the Arsenal fans.
4. Marco Tardelli
I recently watched Luis Suarez and Steven Gerrard perform a double knee slide after the former scored against Sunderland. A completely over the top celebration for what was essentially a goal of little importance, in a meaningless fixture, involving one rank average team and another currently stinking out the league, (I’ll let you decide which one is which). In stark comparison, whilst playing in the 1982 World Cup final, Marco Tardelli scores what turned out to be the winning goal and produces a celebration of rarely seen and unrivalled passion. It’s genuinely a joy to watch.
3. Bebeto fail
This is one of my favourite and simultaneously least favourite goal celebrations. If you’re Bebeto and you have just scored for Brazil in the World Cup then go ahead, do whatever you like. If you are not then, just piss off. I genuinely couldn’t care less. Thank god Raheem Sterling hasn’t adopted it! These lads quite rightly get punished and punished hard.
2. Temuri Ketsbaia
I’d like to think Ketsbaia’s thought process went something along these lines of…… “What shall I do when I next score?….. I know! I’ll chuck my shirt into the crowd, attempt to remove my boot, throw an elbow at an on-rushing team-mate and kick the shit out of an advertising hoarding.” Well, it beats Alan Shearer’s mono-celebration we had to endure for over a decade.
1. Jurgen Klinsmann
The 90′s were the golden age of the celebration with Fabrizio Ravenilli, Paul Gascoigne, Robbie Fowler and Lee Sharpe all contributing memorable routines that were replayed across school playgrounds and sports fields. Be that as it may, none of these top Jurgen Klinsmann’s effort. His famous dive for Spurs has become better remembered for the celebration than the goal. He also contributed to the endless despair of mums, up and down the country, who tried in vain to remove grass stains out the front of their child’s school shirt!
Agree with our picks? Give us your favourite celebrations below or on Twitter @talkingbaws.